>QXWVWZV

>I lost.

Again.

The 19th game in a row.

I lose every time I play with my husband David. We’ve been together for almost 29 years.

He’s good. Very good. But what makes it worse is his uncontrollable laughter at his own brilliant moves and my bad luck. Notice I said “bad luck.” I was an English major, taught language arts and have three university degrees, including a doctorate.

What makes me repeat this losing scene night after night? Am I a masochist? I don’t think so but I’m beginning to understand what I failed to learn in college. I’m just not competitive and David is. Very. So now I’m quietly observing his strategy and I’m getting better.

Marital Trouble

Years ago when we were in another Scrabble frenzy, I thought I was finally going to beat David. From the very first play, I was ahead and remained so throughout one particular time. We were near the end of the game and I just knew I was going to finally win…until David played all seven of his last tiles on the triple word score and went out, leaving me with some high scoring letters. He won on his last turn. The end.

At that moment, our then teenage daughter, Lauren, arrived home from a date. As she entered the house, I announced somberly, “Lauren, your father and I are getting a divorce.” Then I saw her face. This was a teenager who didn’t know what had happened at home while she was making out at the movies. With some guilt, I quickly reassured her that it was her mother’s temporary insanity speaking when hope crashed hard.

During 29 years of marriage to a Scrabble-winner, I can say that I did win once. And this might be the secret of beating David at Scrabble. I convinced him to go with me to Downs Park, several miles from us. This is where I do my best thinking. We sat on a park bench and played against a backdrop of the Chesapeake Bay lapping the shore…and mosquitoes attacking David. Ever since then, he refuses to play with me in the park.

Misery Loves Company

Tonight I felt a little down after my 19th loss and decided to Google “Scrabble losers.” Apparently I’m not alone. I found a Scrabble losers unite!’s Journal on Live Journal and Scrabble Losers Anonymous on Facebook. I discovered on a blog called Scrabble Losers Rejoice that Mental Floss Magazine has a list of ten words that are real but which opponents will probably challenge: aa, qat, zax, cwm, xu, qua, suq, adz, jo, qadi. Look them up!

There’s also a Sore Scrabble Loser You Tube video, so shaky in the beginning that I thought someone was going to get hurt. Two girls who had just finished playing Scrabble together, talk about their game.

I’m thinking about buying the book, Everything Scrabble (Edley, Williams, Williams, Jr.). It has lots of good advice and even a poem Born to Lose by Maxene Johnson:

“…But SCRABBLE losers are unique.

They take their losses without pique,

They tally scores, emerge all smiles,

They merely shrug and blame the tiles.”

In my search for other losers, I found an item that I should be wearing… a t-shirt on a site called Threadless, Nude No More with a design showing a nightmare of a Scrabble hand: QXWVWZV.

As it says at the top of that page, “Well, this just really sucks.”



David gloats about yet another win.

Today’s fortune cookie: It’s not merely how much you know but how you play your tiles.



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About Bonnie Schupp

Photographer and Renaissance woman.
This entry was posted in game, humor, knowledge, letters, losers, marital conflict, Scrabble, Scrabble losers, strategy, tiles, winners, words. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to >QXWVWZV

  1. David Ettlin says:

    >QXWVWZV : easy — if there’s no open vowel on the board to play off the WX (wax), or WZ (wiz or viz), or WV (vow), dump one W and both V’s playing the odds that you’ll pick one or two useful vowels for the next turn.And you didn’t mention the score of our last game (number 19): 421-239. At least it wasn’t as bad as Game 12: 466-227 (the first time I ever played all my tiles three times in a single match).hahahahahaha.oops. sorry. really. i didn’t mean to laugh, look… put down the knife, please, honest….aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggh!

  2. emcbrowning says:

    >I enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks for sharing.I can’t get Chuck to play any games that are not on a computer or TV screen. Let me know when you want a less challenging scrabble opponent. I’m up for a game. Lots of Love!Eileen

  3. arizaphale says:

    I am completely with you on this. What happened to things like, no slang, no foreign words and no abbreviations???? There are no standards left anymore.:-)

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